this fire is licking my skin (and i'm screaming)
by saltandburnit
Summary: For Sabo, whose body and dreams are tainted by fire, obtaining a certain devil fruit may be more costly than it seems. One-shot. Sabo-centric.


On the broken ground of the grandest marine base, Fire Fist Ace is burned _fully through_ by molten lava. His little brother Luffy gains a scar, an x, a _target_ born of pain and heat. Thousands of miles away a young revolutionary wakes up screaming, fallen on the floor of a ship and his hands instantly reach for the burn marks on his face, on his chest, all over his _body_. He does not remember the fire itself, the agony as those marks were formed. But he remembers the fear.

And he can never forget it.

* * *

 _"There's a Devil Fruit I want to get no matter the cost."_

Koala and Hack are watching him closely throughout their journey to Dressrosa, on the lookout for any sign of regret over his own self-assigned mission. Any sign that their friend, their comrade has realized the cost of his decision and is faltering under it. If Sabo looks a little tense, no one mentions it. A hint of stress of that kind does not grant them enough reason to interfere.

Hack interferes anyway.

He would go and win the Flame Fruit for him. _'You could be recognized, compromise the mission,"_ he says. _"I will get it for you so it's safe. Then you can decide. Don't rush into this,"_ he doesn't admit yet both of them acknowledge the unspoken words.

"Thank you," Sabo dares to utter, his tone grim and the gratitude runs deep within his skin.

Yet Hack loses. And he's left to decide if that's a sign from the universe that he should stay away from it, if it's the last chance to spare himself from the heavy weight he's willingly putting upon himself.

* * *

 _"I can't let you have the Flame Fruit. Straw-Hat Luffy."_

His precious, kind, wonderful little brother wraps himself around him tightly in a way only he could hug and Sabo, despite his smile is screaming on the inside. There's a mark on his chest. A burn mark. Sabo talks to Luffy calmly, assuredly and yet he is shaking. Shaking because he's haunted by the possibilities of what could have brought such a mark to the young body, shaking because how _close_ had the fire gotten to claiming them once again and mostly, mostly-

If their brother was fire, then _why_ did fir _e hurt them_ so much?

"Is it okay if I take the Flame Fruit?" Is it?

"Uh-huh!" the younger sniffles, distraught but so very joyful as he always has been, uncaring for the mark on his skin, oblivious to the tremble of his brother's body. For Luffy had seen Ace's fire and he had embraced it for that.

"I think that would be the best!"

 _Would it?_

* * *

 _"So this is mine, right?"_

He doesn't know why he's asking. He's never been one to follow the rules to begin with, but this question has to be more than mere theatrics. Perhaps it's the last chance for someone, _anyone_ to stop him before he goes ahead and...

The bitterness in his mouth is a disgusting yet welcome distraction from the ever-growing horror in his mind at the thought of what he has just permanently granted himself with. But there's a girl in his arms and his need to protect her and get them both out of there is growing stronger yet what can he do from up there, how will he fight with a person holding on to him like that, what is left from him to do now but embrace what he willingly gave himself for better or for worse and start to become one with it? It would not get easier with the wait. it would only drive him insane.

He draws his hand back and flames sprout from it, enveloping it in their glowing grasp.

And he wants to _scream_.

Because flames are smoke and heat from behind suffocating walls, they're burning ships and scars and _pain_ , they're a hole in your heart and a target on your chest and everything his nightmares are made of.

"It's _hot_!" he yells and he wants it to stop but he's _wrong._

 _"_ Wait, it's not. It's just my imagination..."

Because flames are also Ace's warm skin though he does not know it, they're glowing fireflies in the night and a wall of fire built to protect them. And to him, for his memories, they're nights spent gathered around the fire, the scent of food lingering in the air as childish laughter echoes in a darkness broken only by their comforting light. They can be warm and protecting and _light_ , if he would only allow it.

 _"I am fire now."_

Although he does not know it yet, for him they will be so much more. They will be Koala huddling closer to him in cold nights to savor the heat he radiates. They will be swiftly lighting the candles of his room with his own light as he studies in the darkest hours of the nights. They will be dedication and training to keep his brother's will alive, to master this gift and use it to protect those he loves the most. They will be Ace protecting _him_ , even if he never fully realizes it.

"Ace! I'm borrowing your ability!" _This is your fire. Your heart, your will. And you wouldn't hurt me._

There's a pillar of fire sprouting down from his own hand and deep inside he's scared but doesn't shake for he knows this is not the fire that burned him but the one that will keep him safe.

* * *

"Ah! _This thing is hard to control!"_

Koala looks at him worriedly, eyes wide in horror as Sabo laughs his way through the experience, but she can see the tremble on his shoulders, the bead of sweat trailing down his forehead even though his own fire would hold no heat for him. She understands why her friend insisted on getting that ability. Watching him struggle with it however, is almost horrifying. After all the nights of nightmares she has heard, she has _seen_ , after all the flinches and the tension when their line of work involved that element, which was more often than either of them would have liked, after all the fear and the horror she has witnessed in his eyes, this is the last thing she wants to happen to him. And the fact that he _himself_ brought this fate upon him almost made this worse.

For if Sabo ever decides to regret this new power of his, there is no else to blame but himself.

She places his signature hat on his head and he smiles reassuringly, well aware of the worry directed his way. His smile is shaky at best but sincere enough for her to understand. Yes, he's afraid, he's _terrified_ at the idea that he could randomly catch fire in such a way. But he's okay. Or at least, he _will be_.

* * *

 _"Sabo... You got Ace's Devil Fruit?"_

He's not lying when he tells Luffy that he couldn't let anyone else have it. His little brother may not realize how easier things would be for him if he _could_ allow this fire to be passed on to someone else, but the smile he gives him is the brightest thing Sabo has seen in a long time. If Luffy can be this happy about this turn of events, then maybe he can be pleased too.

Then again, it would be a lie to say that burning the ass of the guy whose crew got his brother killed doesn't help with this decision.

* * *

 _"I just wanted to see his face before I go."_

Sabo tells the story of their life to the crew and his heart is twisted in a thousand different directions. He describes the fire of the Gray Terminal and the one that permanently stayed on his skin and he's shaken. Yet he also describes Ace, his friend, his _brother_ , and he feels the warmth of _his_ fire beneath his skin and the heat in his veins is not as bad he thought it would be.

He leaves Dressrosa without accidentally lighting himself up again, but he feels surrounded by fire either way. Still, he has seen his precious kid brother for the first time in so long and he is carrying the will, the memento of the one he will never get to see again. He leaves this place different than before in more ways than one, some more obvious than the rest.

There is fire inside him and he's _screaming._ But there's warmth in his heart that will keep him __safe.__

* * *

 _This story could have stopped at the part where he obtains the fruit. it definitely_ sounds _like an ending. But it sounds like an ending where Sabo was miraculously cured of his fear and that is not in any way what happened. The idea that Sabo is scared of fire has very dark implications about his future with the devil fruit as well as his decision to take it and it was not my intention to make light of it. I hope it did not come out that way._

 _Anyhow, thank you very much for reading. Please spare a little of your time and leave a review to tell me what you thought of it as well. Thank you. C:_


End file.
